Why do you think people say such things? How and why is your son is your son till get gets married?
If a girl is getting married, she is getting married to a man and becomes his wife and not going to adopt someone’s son and be a mother. So why does the society always blames a wife for being influential ,only bad influence though, because good influence always comes from immediate family members and definitely not wife.
So I will tell you why things change after marriage and so is your son !!
Before marriage, your son’s expenses are limited, like staying in a PG or apartment with friends, so basically the expense is divided among 5-6 people, be it on food, rent, travelling, parting and all the bill payments, etc. However, after marriage the expenses increases for setting a new home and it is divided among with 2 people and at times 1.
So automatically, the monetary help to the family decreases and the daughter in law gets all the blame.
Before marriage, all the time is spent with family be it any celebration at home or any festival. But after marriage, we tend to plan a holiday as well, so eventually miss few family functions. We can not make it to all the functions and festival at home because the celebrations are not limited, specially in Indian Families. Does this mean that your daughter in law is influencing your son? I am sorry but I cannot agree on this.
When you son does something good for the family all the credit is given to the son as it is your upbringing and values to him, but the moment he says something that you do not agree to, then all the blame is being just shifted to his wife, as she plays the major part in influencing your son.
Things change after marriage but not people, understand that your son’s time is only divided and not his love for his family.
Most of the daughter in laws try to adjust at least 75 to 80 % but still they are being judged for the remaining 20-25 % that they can not change or do not want to change. Basically a remote control could help, if a girl is born with a remote control to be controlled.
Dear Daughter In Laws, do not change your identity, all I can say. Even if you do so you will fail to recognize yourself later. Be true to yourself, things will fall in place if they are meant to be.
Dear Mother In Laws, Be patient with your son and his wife, only your love and support is all they want. Do not be judgemental or have a critical point of view about her always. Be easy or things will just grow apart and and one fine day she will stop trying to please you anymore. End of Story!!
Dear husband, balance your time, that is all you can do to save your relationship with your mother and wife. Balancing is the key !
Marriage, Happily ever after or Happily never after !!